What to Say to "Why Are You So Dressed Up?"

By Judith Rasband Meridian Magazine

Somewhere, there is still someone who hasn't yet given in to the sloppy, casual dress downtrend. But sometime today, someone will challenge this brave individual who refuses to conform, asking “Why're you so dressed up?” Now this is not said as a compliment about a nice appearance. The question is crafted to undermine the bravery. It's asked to make the nice-looking individual feel uncomfortable, like it is he or she who out of place, and to build up the lazy lout who chooses to look like a slob. It's working. In this post-modern age, people are taking the liberty of taking away our right to look nice because they know that makes them look bad. Reports are common in the workplace of people being told something to the effect, “Don't dress up in this office. You make everyone feel uncomfortable.” It's happening. Men, women, and teens who still have higher standards of dress and grooming need some one-liners already in their heads, ready for response. If that's you, then stand tall, make eye contact, smile politely, and say something like: “Cause I'm worth it!” “Cause I know better.” “Today's a special day." “This is my gift to you.” “Because it feels so nice.” “Because I respect myself.” “I'm going to keep my job!” “Because I'm nicer to look at.” “So you'll notice me—and you did.” Turn the question and the pressure around. Try asking, “Why are you so dressed down?” The person will likely come back with something like, “Cause it's more comfortable.” To which you can add, “I'm both comfortable and lookin' so good.” Someone might easily say, “Cause it's the fashion.” And so you ask, “Why is it in fashion? Who's driving the fashion?” Sloppy or sexy dress is in fashion to promote sloppy behavior or sexual activity. While there are fine and responsible fashion manufacturers and retailers “out there,” there are also disreputable and irresponsible fashion moguls and media that present rude and crude appearances for shock value—to attract attention, viewers, readers, and buyers of what they want to sell—be it attitudes, behaviors, or products. Giving into that sort of fashion, you become a “fashion victim.” If anyone prefers not to believe this author, consider author John Leo's statement in his article, “Decadence, the Corporate Way,” which appeared in the August 28, 1995, issue of U.S. News & World Report. Leo was among the first to become alarmed by declining standards of dress. He stated, “Our commercial culture and the advertising industry are not just at war with traditional values. . . . By pushing self-obsession, narcissism, and contempt for all rules, they strike at the sense of connectedness that any society needs. . . . It's time to call the corporations and ad agencies on this. They are busy—financing our social meltdown.” Other sloppy dressers will tell you, “Cause it's cool.” Again, ask, “Why is it cool and who's driving the idea that sloppy, sexy dress is cool?” Sloppy, sexy appearance is considered a “safe” way to rebel against traditional attitudes and established behaviors. It's an easy way to “get in your face,” and defy authority—be it parents, school administrators, church, business, and political leaders. Child therapist Ron Toffel is cited in an article by Claudia Wallis titled, “The Thing About Thongs,” which appeared in the October 6, 2003, issue of Time magazine. Even then, Toffel thought the “adult establishment has become too weak and weary to inspire rebellion.” Wrong. Power struggles are as present today as ever before. What's changed, however, is that the adult establishment is too weak and weary to fight rebellious, defiant behavior. Again, "people with something to sell" are the ones who are driving the attitude and the trend. We hear all the time, “I just want to look attractive.” There's a question to ask with this response. “Who, and what, are you trying to attract?” By undressing in low-rider pants and short tops, you attract those interested in undressing you further. You expose yourself to those who would take advantage of your degree of undress. If anyone prefers not to believe this, consider the young man quoted in an article on “The Age of Naval Gazing” that appeared in the August 20, 2001, issue of U. S. News and World Report: “The reason we're so navel-retentive . . . is because we know it's a stone's throw away from the real goods, and that sends the imagination racing.” Again, nothing's changed in 2008. By adopting the fashion, you become a fashion victim. Don't go there!