Elder Marvin J. Ashton wrote a very memorable article about murmuring, criticizing, and finding fault that started with these words:"A few years ago I had a small sign made and placed on the secondary door of one of my offices. It read, 'Come in without knocking and leave the same way.' It was interesting to observe people's facial expressions as they pondered this play on words. According to the dictionary, knock has two definitions: 'to strike something with a sharp blow,' and 'to find fault with, a harsh and often petty criticism.' Perhaps in human relationships both of these meanings could apply. This sign served as a reminder to me to come into the office without finding fault and to leave at the close of the day the same way. I also hoped that it might help others who entered and left.
"There is a tendency among too many in our society, young and old, to knock the establishment, knock the community, and knock the neighbors. There is a certain growing segment of society who would rather knock than kneel, rather knock than negotiate, or rather knock than know" (Marvin J. Ashton, "Come in Without Knocking . . . and Leave the Same Way," New Era, May 1973).
According to the Lord’s parable, murmuring consists of three steps, each leading to the next in a descending path to disobedience:
First, the servants began to question. They felt to exercise their own judgment upon the instruction given by their master. "What need hath my lord of this tower, seeing this is a time of peace?" they said (D&C 101:48). They questioned first in their own minds and then planted questions in the minds of others. Questioning came first.How many times have we been in situations where we start to ask questions instead of doing what has been asked? I remember attending an early-morning priesthood meeting when the stake president asked everyone to move to the middle of the chapel. There were some men who were not too happy about the request, and they started to murmur about having to move. The stake president wasn't asking much—he wasn't asking us to embark on a big service project—so why did some murmur? The murmuring seems like a relatively small thing, but it reflected an unwillingness to obey. That is not a small thing.
Second, they began to rationalize and excuse themselves from doing what they had been instructed to do. They said: "Might not this money be given to the exchangers? For there is no need of these things" (D&C 101:49). Thus, they made an excuse for disobedience.
The third step inevitably follows: slothfulness in following the commandment of the Master. The parable says, "They became very slothful, and they hearkened not unto the commandments of their lord" (D&C 101:50). Thus, the stage was set for disaster.
We are living in a day when we need to look for the good in neighbors, associates, and family members. It is hard for any one of us to find heroes among our neighbors when our pleasures seem wrapped up in faultfinding. Probably the greatest discovery for mankind can be found in ordinary neighbors. We generally find that for which we are looking. We need to speak the good word, build our associates, and cease finding fault. We need to thank God for life, opportunities, and His love. One of the most universal ways of knocking and faultfinding today is found in murmuring.
Cease to find fault! None of us is perfect; all of us occasionally make mistakes. There was only one perfect individual who has walked the earth. Men and women who carry heavy responsibility do not need criticism. They need encouragement. Remember: One can disagree with policy without being disagreeable about the policy maker!
In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
—President Eddie Gist